To the inattentive observer, tortoises seem all sweet and docile and cutesy-poo. But here’s the real reason they live to be 120 years old: when something pisses them off, they immediately take out their aggression. No pent-up rage issues, no seething anger, no long-term high blood pressure issues. Not unlike the eccentric Russian music teacher I used to work for, they simply unleash their frustration and annoyance at everyone around them, without the need for social filters or impulse control (I eventually quit that awful job, by the way).
So for your viewing pleasure, I present some unbridled tortoise-on-tortoise combat action. Place your bets, and rest assured: one of these suckers will be flat on his back. Or shell. Or back-shell. Or whatever the hell you call it.
