Here’s what you need to know about this video. 1) The tiny girl throwing the punches is seven years old, tops. 2) Her boxing skills lie somewhere between ‘mad,’ ‘sick,’ and ‘OMFG!’ (which stands for ‘oh my flippin’ gosh,’ Mr. Pottymouth). Honestly, this kid can do it all, and that includes boxing moves I don’t even have definitions for: counterpunches, bob and weaves, stick and moves, rope a dopes, flash knockdowns, haymakers, memorial ten counts, peek-a-boos, and the dreaded pitty-pat slaps.
Don’t tell her to eat her broccoli, because she’ll lay you out like an area rug. Ask her to tidy up her My Little Pony set? You’ll be kissing the canvas, son. Burden her with a hard 8pm bedtime? Say goodbye to your current nose configuration. The greater point here? This girl is a pugilistic powerhouse and there’s simply no way to stop her. My suggestion: a one-way flight to New Zealand. You’ll be safe there… For a while.