It’s always a crapshoot which old clips will ironically make their way into the zeitgeist. But it certainly helps if they’re stupid and awful, while being blissfully unaware how stupid and awful they are. The latest in this series is an excerpt from the 1989 low-budget flick Teen Witch. As the name suggests, it’s about a teen who’s, you know, a witch. Of course, you’d never know this from the footage you’re about to see. What you’ll experience instead has a much better pay-off: three young white dudes rapping the whitest, most suburban rap in the history of suburban white kids rapping. Then for some reason, Teen Witch’s BFF enters the fray and THROWS THE F*** DOWN.
Full disclosure: In 1989, I was the exact same age as these characters. Plus, I was a white kid from the suburbs who enjoyed himself some hip-hop. So if my demographic was in any way responsible for the creation of this atrocity (it was), I humbly apologize.